Beef Trifle: The lie continues...

The digital ether has been pretty quiet about the latest series of the Channel 4 programme, The Joy of Teen Sex.

(You can read our response to first series, here)

Maybe we're all just weary after all efforts to remove it from the nation’s retinas’ proved futile? Quite possibly. Clearly, it received too much air time and so is back with a vengance. Maybe a blackout is the best approach this time.

There may also be some who feel that because this season has dropped in the word ‘love’ one or two times, reworked the opening and replaced the ‘experts’ with slightly more credible types, that all is well and good…

The problem for us is that we just don’t believe it. It now 'works' in a clinical kind of way. Lots of the advice stands alone as helpful sound bites and clear attempts have been made to address the emotional side of sex yet it still leaves us feeling extremely uncomfortable.

Granted, we have only seen the first episode (2nd one is on tonight) but Rachel (as usual) hit the nail on the head: “It feels like watching that Friends episode where Rachel mixes up recipes and ends up making an English Trifle-Pie…” Trifle and Cottage Pie in one bowl: A mad mix that leaves a bad taste in your mouth. Beef dominates the recipe despite all of the other ingredients.

Click here for clip

What people 'say' might sound like wisdom, but if you’d turned the sound down in the shag-a-luf scenes you’d see another story; a pack of animals on heat; girls dangerously staggering around showing their bits to the world and generally disrespecting themselves. It's distressing to watch. Real talk. Is that really “sexual liberation?” Any information poured into that mix, no matter how 'accurate' is in danger of getting washed away. Actions will always speak louder than words.

Our response has to be more than just giving young people the ‘right information’ about protection. We’re not convinced that any of the participants believe that sex is just about bodies. The girls might be asking about how to be better 'on top', but in reality, aren’t they asking how to become more desirable, more unforgettable?

In a sea of vaginas, how can they make sure that theirs is the one that the guy wants and not just once, but again and again? Maybe even enough to get the guy to like more about her...like her mind, heart, hopes...

And the lad who is unsure about whether he wants to 'go down' on a girl probably needs to be told that not wanting to get that close to a stranger's private parts, is probably a sign of sanity rather than sexual phobia. Maybe, when he meets a girl he loves and cherishes, he might feel differently about her lady-bits. And isn't that the WHOLE point? The act of sex is silly in many ways...its glory and beauty lies in the fact of who it’s with not just what it is.

Billie's heartbreaking chat with the Magaluf girls the morning after the night before reveal that they at least sense that sex is about connection. It was just a shag, but each time there was a little hope that it could have been someone so much more. Deep. Powerful. Comforting. Exclusive. Private.

What intrigues us most about TJOTS is the stuff they forget to mention.

We wish someone, somewhere in the programme told them that it’s OK to say it:

Attachment. Intimacy. Faithfulness.

It’s OK to want it- it really is. You deserve it. A beef-trifle approach to sex will not fully satisfy your appetite and at times make you ill.

Let’s be honest, if we really want to improve the sex life of UK teens, we need to start by showing them what’s in their hearts and heads, not just their pants! Youthworkers, if any of your young people are considering watching tonight’s episode, be sure to help them separate the meat from the sweet.

If you want a resource to help you handle the hot topics, you might want to consider becoming a Romance Academy leader.

Here's how